February 2012
8 posts
Dylan Moran in 'Don't You See' for BBC Scotland
somethingtoobrave:
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“As a comic persona, misanthropy is as old as the hills. It’s effective because...”
– Dylan Moran (via chasseur-de-vent)
“This complete box set gathers together all nine hundred and fourteen episodes of...”
– Dylan Moran - His synopsis of “The Complete Black Books” box set. (via y34rz3r0r3m1x3d)
“Women are like chick peas under a psychopath’s hat, they can be cherish-able and...”
– Dylan Moran (via urthepersonificationofperfection)
“I’m quite a compulsive person — I only worked this out recently — I’m...”
– Dylan Moran (via relatedworlds)
December 2011
22 posts
Whereas drugs, change you. If you start huffing things, soon you’ll find yourself preoccupied solely with deep contemplations on linoleum.
Days are a stupid length. They’re just long enough to get regret, then you have to go sleep.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Haha! You win, congratulations. “@helenhowe82: @NotDylanMoran http://t.co/F8i1XQIO Fuzzy Peach!”
With thoughts and ideas that are not yours coursing through your cortex, all the while feeling intense self loathing and a desire for crisps
One thing you’ve got to remember is that there is no predetermined path for anyone. It’s your responsibility to make your life interesting.
You have to make a very important decision early on. Are you going to be with someone, or not. Are you going to be sane, or not lonely?
A couple is a strange thing. It’s an organism that is half as intelligent as its most intelligent member.
And you love somebody, or you don’t. And they love you, or they don’t. There is no need to play games with people.
Because they only remember the good stuff. Those forty-five seconds you weren’t breathing through your mouth and being pro-israel.
Women are like chickpeas under a psychopath’s hat. They can be cherishable, zingy, and surprising, but ask too many questions and you die.
“The other morning, I woke up. I was frightened – I’m always frightened in the...”
– Dylan Moran (via whatever-you-want)
Life is like an overloaded trampoline. Things go up and things go down and there’s a constant gleeful fear that its all going to shit.
Reply to this survey if you refuse to participate in surveys.
Lets be honest, you probably just threw away a golden opportunity to shut the hell up.
“WHAT? WHAT IS IT NOW? I’M OPENING FISH FINGERS, CAN’T YOU SEE? You’ve come in...”
– Dylan Moran
“I think, truthfully, you fill your day most of the time by being in the washing...”
– Dylan Moran
I eat and ponder while sleeping and drinking.
Yeah, everything except company, which is not to be had because you are dying, bent double in a miasma of your own toxic farts.
Today in conversation I accidentally said “your” instead of “you’re.” I would commit seppuku, but I only have a butter knife.
November 2011
49 posts
I do sports too you know. I’m especially good at competitive sleeping.
People who come to your house, and say “I’m hungry.” And you go “Ok, I’ll try and feed them.” And they say “I’m vegan.”
You’ll know that the person you’re with at the moment is worth it when having a good time depends less on the availability of alcohol.
RT @Abitofatwat: @NotDylanMoran Men are like spare table legs. Nobody knows what to do with them, but they keep them because they’ll pro …
The Doctor: “Knock knock”
You: “Who’s there?”
The Doctor: “Yes.”
“The other morning, I woke up. I was frightened – I’m always frightened in the...”
– Dylan Moran, on aging (What Is It)
Is it possible to drown in the Fountain of Youth?
If you can douse it with squirt cheese, you can eat it.
RT @heartbrokengrrl: @NotDylanMoran It’s like a Geek Tragedy….