All right, then , I will. I will tell you a joke.
This man goes into a pub, OK? A village pub, like this village. He gets himself a drink and sits down in the corner by the fire. And then this other chap comes in a few minutes later, and the barman sees him and beams. And he says… He says, erm… “Cocksucker Mike!” The man says, “That’s fine, thanks,” takes his drink and goes and sits down. The first guy’s watching, thinking, “My God.”
This other man is leaving the bar and he bumps into the other guy. He says “Sorry Cocksucker Mike, didn’t see you there.”
Then another few minutes go by, and this van pulls up, one of those Pony Express telegram vans. And the girl, the woman with the little bellhop hat and the little shoelets jumps in, and she says, “Telegram! Telegram for Cocksucker Mike. Telegram!” And he runs over and he says, “Thanks very much. I’ll take that now.”
Our man is obsessed, he can’t contain himself. He goes over and he says, “I have to ask you, how did you get such a name?” And the guy said, “Well I grew up in this village, you know. I had a wonderful job, a great business, I gave money to charity, I repaired the church roof, sent kids away, my own money, married a beautiful girl. Had the respect of the whole parish, and all the outlying parishes you know. But you suck one cock….”
There you go.
I think I’m going to get some air.
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